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Some humour : Political Conventions

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  • Some humour : Political Conventions

    OFFICIAL 2004 RNC CONVENTION PROGRAM

    6:00pm - Opening Bomb Dropping ceremony.
    6:15pm - Search for WMD's
    6:30pm - Ashcroft's Anti Porn Speech.
    6:40pm - Rush Limbaugh suggests everyone pops a pill.
    6:45pm - Rumsfeld speech on "How to torture Prisoners without getting Caught"(warning..may go long)
    7:00pm - Tribute to Haliburton.
    7:10pm - Collect offerings for anti-abortion fund.
    7:20pm - Rush pops another pill.
    7:25pm - Tribute to Saudi Arabia and the Royal Family.
    7:35pm - Anti-Peace rally (Moderated by Ollie North)
    7:45pm - Panel Discussion "If Bush is so smart, how come he screws us all the time?"
    8:00pm - Wolfowitz presents How to Invade any Country we want because We Can
    8:25pm - Rush Limbaugh pops another pill..
    8:30pm - Workshop - Big Tax Cuts for all our cronies and donors
    9:00pm - Morality speech (by the christian coalition)
    9:30pm - * Intermission *
    10:00pm - Workshop - World Domination Techniques.
    10:30pm - Re-enactment of Bush's Bike Fall.
    10:40pm - Cameo by Arnold (I'm only a Republican because I wanted to be the Governator!'
    10:45pm - Rush proposes a toast and pops another pill.
    10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the neoconservative movement.
    11:00pm - Double digit Deficit ceremony.
    11:15pm - Workshop - Maximizing the total deception of the American public.
    11:20pm - Secret Service wakes up the President because he fell asleep.
    11:30pm - 'Free Martha Stewart' pep rally.
    11:35pm - Panel Discussion - Will we ever get rid of Social Security?
    11:59pm - Rush proposes a toast and pops another pill.
    12:00am - Nomination of Republican candidate.


    OFFICIAL 2004 DNC CONVENTION PROGRAM

    6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
    6:15pm - 9/11 memorial cancelled - replaced by military prisoner abuse videos
    6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1 (led by Martin Sheen from WW set).
    6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    6:45pm - New tax and spend proposals (warning..may go long)
    7:00pm - Tribute to France.
    7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
    7:20pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    7:25pm - Tribute to Spain.
    7:35pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
    7:45pm - Panel Discussion "If Bush is so stupid, how come he outwits us all the time?"
    8:00pm - John Kerry presents one side of the issues
    8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    8:30pm - Workshop - Terrorist Appeasement.
    9:00pm - Anti-capitalist speech (any U.C. Berkeley prof)
    9:30pm - * Intermission *
    10:00pm - Workshop - Military Bashing Techniques.
    10:30pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake(?) medal toss.
    10:40pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
    10:45pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
    11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.
    11:15pm - Workshop - Maximizing Welfare.
    11:20pm - John Kerry presents the other side of the issues
    11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
    11:35pm - Panel Discussion - Will we ever get Socialism to work?
    11:59pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    12:00am - Nomination of Democrat candidate.


  • #2
    Funny
    "Every man has his weakness. Mine was always just cigarettes."

    Comment


    • #3
      Lol :)
      No man is free until all men are free - John Hossack
      I agree completely with this Administration’s goal of a regime change in Iraq-John Kerry
      even if that enforcement is mostly at the hands of the United States, a right we retain even if the Security Council fails to act-John Kerry
      He may even miscalculate and slide these weapons off to terrorist groups to invite them to be a surrogate to use them against the United States. It’s the miscalculation that poses the greatest threat-John Kerry

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