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Lunatock
28 Mar 04,, 18:25
http://www.corky.net/scripts/FullMetalJacket.html

DAY


Marine recruits having their heads shaved with electric clippers. The hair piles up on the floor.



2 INT.

BARRACKS--DAY



Marine recruits stand at attention in front of their bunks.



Master Gunnery Sergeant HARTMAN walks along the

line of

blank-faced recruits.



HARTMAN



I am Gunnery Sergeant

Hartman, your Senior

Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak



only when spoken to, and the first and last

words out of your filthy

sewers will be "Sir!"

Do you maggots understand that?





RECRUITS

(in unison)



Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you

got a pair.



RECRUITS

(louder)

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive

recruit

training ... you will be a weapon, you

will be a minister of death,

praying for war.

But until that day you are pukes! You're the



lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even

human fucking beings!

You are nothing but

unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian



shit!



Because I am hard, you will not like me. But



the more

you hate me, the more you will

learn. I am hard, but I am fair!

There is no

racial bigotry here! I do not look down on

******s,

kikes, wops or greasers. Here you

are all equally worthless! And my

orders are

to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack

the gear

to serve in my beloved Corps! Do

you maggots understand that?





RECRUITS

(in unison)

Sir, yes, sir!







HARTMAN

Bullshit! I can't hear you!





RECRUITS



(louder)

Sir, yes, sir!





Sergeant HARTMAN stops in front of a

black recruit,

Private SNOWBALL.





HARTMAN

What's your

name, scumbag?



SNOWBALL

(shouting)

Sir,

Private Brown, sir!



HARTMAN

Bullshit! From now on

you're Private

Snowball! Do you like that name?





SNOWBALL

(shouting)

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN



Well, there's one thing that you won't like,

Private Snowball! They

don't serve fried

chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in

my

mess hall!



SNOWBALL

Sir, yes, sir!





JOKER



(whispering)

Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?





HARTMAN



Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's

the slimy

little communist shit twinkle-toed

cocksucker down here, who just

signed his

own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy

fucking

godmother said it! Out-fucking-

standing! I will P.T. you all until

you fucking

die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are

sucking

buttermilk.





Sergeant HARTMAN grabs cowboy by the shirt.







HARTMAN

Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!





COWBOY

Sir, no, sir!





HARTMAN

You little piece of

shit! You look like a fucking

worm! I'll bet it was you!





COWBOY

Sir, no, sir!



JOKER

Sir, I said it, sir!





Sergeant HARTMAN steps up to JOKER.





HARTMAN

Well ...

no shit. What have we got here, a

fucking comedian? Private Joker? I

admire

your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come

over to my

house and fuck my sister.



Sergeant HARTMAN purnches JOKER in the

stomach.

JOKER sags to his knees.



HARTMAN

You little

scumbag! I've got your name! I've

got your ass! You will not laugh!

You will not

cry! You will learn by the numbers. I will

teach

you. Now get up! Get on your feet! You

had best unfuck yourself or I

will unscrew

your head and shit down your neck!



JOKER



Sir, yes, sir!



HARTMAN

Private Joker, why did you join

my beloved

Corps?



JOKER

Sir, to kill, sir!





HARTMAN

So you're a killer!



JOKER

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

Let me see your war face!



JOKER

Sir?





HARTMAN

You've got a war face? Aaaaaaaagh! That's a

war face.

Now let me see your war face!



JOKER

Aaaaaaaagh!





HARTMAN

Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see

your real

war face!



JOKER

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!





HARTMAN

You didn't scare me! Work on it!



JOKER



Sir, yes, sir!



Sergeant HARTMAN speaks into cowboy's face.





HARTMAN

What's your excuse?



COWBOY

Sir, excuse for

what, sir?



HARTMAN

I'm asking the fucking questions

here,

Private. Do you understand?!



COWBOY

Sir,

yes, sir!



HARTMAN

Well thank you very much! Can I be in

charge

for a while?



COWBOY

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

Are you shook up? Are you nervous?



COWBOY



Sir, I am, sir!



HARTMAN

Do I make you nervous?





COWBOY

Sir!



HARTMAN

Sir, what? Were you about to

call me an

asshole?!



COWBOY

Sir, no, sir!





HARTMAN

How tall are you, Private?



COWBOY

Sir,

five foot nine, sir!



HARTMAN

Five foot nine? I didn't

know they stacked shit

that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in

on

me somewhere, huh?



COWBOY

Sir, no, sir.





HARTMAN

Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of

you ran

down the crack of your mama's ass

and ended up as a brown stain on

the

mattress! I think you've been cheated!



HARTMAN



Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?





COWBOY



Sir, Texas, sir!



HARTMAN

Holy dogshit! Texas! Only

steers and queers

come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you



don't look much like a steer to me, so that

kinda narrows it down!

Do you suck dicks!



COWBOY

Sir, no, sir!





HARTMAN

Are you a peter-puffer?



COWBOY

Sir, no,

sir!



HARTMAN

I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would

fuck

a person in the ass and not even have the

goddam common

courtesy to give him a reach-

around! I'll be watching you!





Sergeant HARTMAN walks down the line to another

recruit, a tall,

overtweight boy.



HARTMAN

Did your parents have any

children that lived?





PYLE

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly you

could be

a modern art masterpiece! What's

your name, fatbody?





PYLE

Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!



HARTMAN

Lawrence?

Lawrence, what, of Arabia?



PYLE

Sir, no, sir!





HARTMAN

That name sounds like royalty! Are you

royalty?





PYLE

Sir, no, sir!



HARTMAN

Do you suck dicks?







PYLE

Sir, no, sir!



HARTMAN

Bullshit! I'll bet you

could suck a golf ball

through a garden hose!



PYLE



Sir, no, sir!



HARTMAN

I don't like the name Lawrence!

Only ******s

and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on



you're Gomer Pyle!



PYLE

Sir, yes, sir!



PYLE has the

trace of a strange smile on his face.



HARTMAN

Do you

think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you

think I'm funny?





PYLE

Sir, no, sir!



HARTMAN

Then wipe that

disgusting grin off your face!



PYLE

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

Well, any fucking time, sweetheart!



PYLE



Sir, I'm trying, sir.



HARTMAN

Private Pyle, I'm gonna

give you three

seconds--excactly three fucking seconds--to

wipe

that stupid-looking grin off your face, or

I will gouge out your

eyeballs and skull-fuck

you! One! Two! Three!



PYLE purses his

lips but continues to smile

involuntarily.



PYLE

Sir,

I can't help it, sir!



HARTMAN

Bullshit! Get on your

knees, scumbag!



PYLE gets down on his FEnees.



HARTMAN



Now choke yourself!



PYLE places his hands around his throat as if to



choke himself.



HARTMAN

Goddamn it, with my hand,

numbnuts!!



PYLE reaches for HARTMAN's hand. HARTMAN jerks

it away.





HARTMAN

Don't pull my fucking hand over there! I said

choke

yourself! Now lean forward and choke

yourself!



PYLE leans forward

so that his neck rests in

HARTMAN's open hand.



HARTMAN chokes PYLE.





PYLE gags and starts to turn red in the face.



HARTMAN



Are you through grinning?



PYLE

(barely able to

speak)

Sir, yes, sir!



HARTMAN

Bullshit! I can't

hear you!



PYLE

(gasping)

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

Bullshit! I still can't hear you! Sound offlike

you got

a pair!



PYLE

(gagging)

Sir, yes, sir!





HARTMAN

That's enough! Get on your feet!



HARTMAN releases PYLE's

throat. PYLE gets to his feet,

breathing heavily.



HARTMAN



Private Pyle, you had best square your ass

away and start shitting

me Tiffany cuff links

... or I will definitely fuck you up!





PYLE

Sir, yes, sir!

Lunatock
28 Mar 04,, 18:33
And here's the Gunny in his unsyndicated glory. (should keep Coldharvest busy, and not talking to me like I'm some DI & he's a grabastic piece of shit at Paris Island.)

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jacket1.html

bigross86
28 Mar 04,, 20:13
LOL! I like that!

ChrisF202
28 Mar 04,, 20:51
lmao, very funny :D

coldharvest
30 Mar 04,, 15:18
Bless your heart for that.
sir.
Sorry, thought I'd sneak one in.