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  • Was "This Guy" ever under your command?

    Apologize if you have seen this. Just remove if so.
    How do you deal with behaviour implied by this list? Some of these are good.

    The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

    SGT Shawn Stanford
    Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a hilarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it. A couple favorites: 2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'. and 191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
    http://www.daft.com/~torin/skippy.html
    213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army
    1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
    2. My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
    3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
    4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
    5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
    6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
    7. Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
    8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
    9. Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.
    10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.
    11. Not allowed to join the communist party.
    12. Not allowed to join any militia.
    13. Not allowed to form any militia.
    14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
    15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'
    16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.
    17. God may not contradict any of my orders.
    18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
    19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
    20. Must not taunt the French any more.
    21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
    22. Must never call an SAS a '****er'.
    23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
    24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.
    25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
    26. Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'
    27. Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
    28. Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
    29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.
    30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
    31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
    32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
    33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
    34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
    35. Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
    36. Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).
    37. Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.
    38. Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.
    39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
    40. I do not have super-powers.
    41. 'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message.
    42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.
    43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
    44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
    45. I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'.
    46. I am not authorized to fire officers.
    47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
    48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
    49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
    50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
    51. Not allowed to quote 'Dr Seuss' on military operations.
    52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.
    53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.
    54. 'Napalm sticks to kids' is *not* a motivational phrase.
    55. An order to 'Put Kiwi on my boots' does *not* involve fruit.
    56. An order to 'Make my Boots black and shiny' does not involve electrical tape.
    57. The proper response to a lawful order is not 'Why?'
    58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence — Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.
    59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.
    60. 'The Giant Space Ants' are not at the top of my chain of command.
    61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean 'I have been promoted three more times than you'.
    62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.
    63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
    64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.
    65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.
    66. There is no 'Anti-Mime' campaign in Bosnia.
    67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.
    68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to 'Block out the space mind control lasers'.
    69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.
    70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.
    71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.
    72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.
    73. No military functions are to be performed 'Skyclad'.
    74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.
    75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.
    76. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is *not* a cadence.
    77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."
    78. I may not call block my chain of command.
    79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.
    80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.
    81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.
    82. May not form any press gangs.
    83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about...."
    84. Must not use military vehicles to 'Squish' things.
    85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.
    86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the 'field of honor'.
    87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
    88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as 'Mom'.
    89. Must not refer to the Commander as 'Dad'.
    90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.
    91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.
    92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony 'Romper Bomper Stomper Boo' is probably not appropriate.
    93. Nerve gas is not funny.
    94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.
    95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.
    96. 'Redneck Zombies' is not a military training aid.
    97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.
    98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not 'Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.'
    99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.
    100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.
    101. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on a crew-served weapon.
    102. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are "casualties of war".
    103. My commander is not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that he did.
    104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a 'Cool Mint' Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.
    105. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve.
    106. I may not trade my rifle for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalishnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD's.
    107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.
    108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
    109. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.
    110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.
    111. I am not qualified to operate any US, German, Polish, or Russian Armored vehicles.
    112. When saluting a 'leg' officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".
    113. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from 'Full Monty' every time I hear the song "Hot Stuff".
    114. I cannot trade my CO to the Russians.
    115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.
    116. Crucifying mice — bad idea.
    117. Must not use government equipment to bootleg pornography.
    118. Burn pits for classified material are not revel fires — therefore it is wrong to dance naked around them.
    119. I cannot arrest children for being rude.
    120. An EO briefing is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.
    121. I should not use government resources to 'waterproof' dirty magazines.
    122. Radioactive material should not be stored in the barracks.
    123. I should not teach other soldiers to say offensive and crude things in Albanian, under the guise of teaching them how to say potentially useful phrases.
    124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
    125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.
    126. Two drink limit does not mean the drinks can be as large as I like.
    127. 'No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages' does not imply that a Jack Daniel's® IV is acceptable.
    128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.
    129. The Microsoft® 'Dancing Paperclip' is not authorized to countermand any orders.
    130. "I'm drunk" is a bad answer to any question posed by my commander.
    131. No dancing in the turret. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #113.
    132. The loudspeaker system is not a forum to voice my ideas.
    133. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to replace the radio.
    134. The loudspeaker system is not to be used to broadcast the soundtrack to a porno movie.
    135. An order to put polish on my boots means the whole boot.
    136. Shouting "Let's do the village! Let's do the whole ****ing village!" while out on a mission is bad.
    137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
    138. Even if my commander did it.
    139. Must not teach interpreters how to make "MRE" bombs.
    140. I am not authorized to sell mineral rights.
    141. Not allowed to use a broadsword to disprove 'The Pen is Mightier than the sword.'
    142. 'Calvin-Ball' is not authorized PT.
    143. I do not need to keep a 'range card' by my window.
    144. 'K-Pot, LBE, and a thin coat of Break-free' is not an authorized uniform.
    145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
    146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.
    147. I should not threaten suicide with pop rocks and Coke®.
    148. Putting red 'Mike and Ike's'® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in a formation is not funny.
    149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.
    150. On Sports Day PT, a wedgie is not considered a legal tackle.
    151. The proper way to report to my Commander is 'Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir' not 'You can't prove a thing!'
    152. The following items do not exist: Keys to the Drop Zone, A box of grid squares, blinker fluid, winter air for tires, canopy lights, or Chem-Light® batteries.
    153. I should not assign new privates to 'guard the flight line'.
    154. Shouldn't treat 'piss-bottles' with extra-strength icy hot.
    155. Teaching Albanian children to taunt other soldiers is not nice.
    156. I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in uniform.
    157. If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.
    158. The revolution is not now.
    159. When detained by MP's, I do not have a right to a strip search.
    160. No part of the military uniform is edible.
    161. Bodychecking General officers is not a good idea.
    162. Past lives have absolutely no effect on the chain of command.
    163. Take that hat off.
    164. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.
    165. I do not get 'that time of month'.
    166. No, the pants are not optional.
    167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.
    168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.
    169. Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'
    170. Not allowed to 'defect' to OPFOR during training missions.
    171. On training missions, try not to shoot down the General's helicopter.
    172. 'A full magazine and some privacy' is not the way to help a potential suicide.
    173. I am not allowed to create new levels of security clearance.
    174. Furby® is not allowed into classified areas. (I swear to the gods, I did not make that up, it's actually DOD policy).
    175. We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.
    176. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium, does not need to be brought into the office.
    177. I am not to refer to a formation as 'the boxy rectangle thingie'.
    178. I am not 'A lesbian trapped in a man's body'.
    179. On Army documents, my race is not 'Other'.
    180. Nor is it 'Secretariat, in the third'.
    181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
    182. There is no FM for 'wall-to-wall counseling'.
    183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups®.
    184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something 'I saw in a cartoon'.
    185. My name is not a killing word.
    186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
    187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
    188. May not challenge officers to 'Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn'.
    189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
    190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
    191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
    192. The proper response to a briefing is not 'That's what you think'.
    193. The Masons, and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
    194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
    195. Shouldn't use Photoshop® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
    196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
    197. I am not allowed to sing 'Henry the VIII I am' until verse 68 ever again.
    198. Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during training missions.
    199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
    200. My chain of command is not interested in why I 'just happen' to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
    201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.
    202. Despite the confusing similarity in the names, the "Safety Dance" and the "Safety Briefing" are never to be combined.
    203. 'To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.
    204. NEVER nail a stuffed bunny to a cross and put it up in front of the Battalion Headquarters sign as an "Easter Desecration."
    205. Don't write up false gigs on a HMMWV PMCS. ("Broken clutch pedal", "Number three turbine has frequent flame-outs", "flux capacitor emits loud whine when engaged")
    206. Not allowed to get shot.
    207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is *not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)
    208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civlians who are "hearing conversations" from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.
    209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness *only*. (Also not a Skippy-ism...this was the same dinner.)
    210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.
    211. Don't ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.
    212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.
    213. Do not convince NCO's that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

    http://www.daft.com/~torin/skippy.html

  • #2
    Somebody once posted the homepage for this website. Does anybody still have it?
    Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

    Abusing Yellow is meant to be a labor of love, not something you sell to the highest bidder.

    Comment


    • #3
      Official Skippy's List site.

      Comment


      • #4
        That list has been passed around since the mid 90s. Spent many a day laughing about some of those things and prayed I never got the MC version of this young trooper in my unit.

        Where I would have to kill him.

        Comment


        • #5
          We usually call those guys "Generals." With due apologies to the Brigadier :-)

          Comment


          • #6
            I've seen a suprisingly large number of these things done or attempted.

            Also should be added

            You may not stir the MSGT's coffee with your prince albert.
            If you previously got away with stirring the coffee because he was out of the room when told to get coffee stirrers a week later don't volunteer said peircing to stir with again to his face.
            Deciding to come out as gay to try and be discharged to avoid an article 15 is wrong.
            Making advances on other members of your unit after the proceedings and being told thats nice to your being gay is worse,
            Letting everyone in UAE know you are a gay wiccan black dude while drunk will cause problems.
            Its not discrimination when you are punished for doing so (maybe it is but you are more being punished for being stupid.)
            Driving at high speed with the lights off in the US on the public roads isn't ok just becuase you have night vision gogles.
            Microwaving the pilot with the steerable antenna because they don't deserve to have kids is wrong.
            LOX (liqued oxegen) is not a toy.
            Neither is liquid nitrogen.
            Jet fuel is not an enviromentally approved deicer.
            Do not ask the control tower for permission to do donuts on the taxiway.
            If told what do you think by the tower don't do donuts.
            Tackling the sp gaurding the restricted area because his area badge wasn't showing is dumb.
            maping half the bases restricted areas for first person shooters isn't cool.
            MRE tobasco sauce bottles won't break under the weight of a loaded c130 that doesn't mean you are allowed to test this.
            You aren't allowed to try and reinact the propeller scene from the indiana jones movie. Not even if you can find a volunteer.
            Governemt shipments may not be used for pronographic material.
            You may not classify prono's just to get them past saudi inspectors.
            Even if you are a classified curier.
            You are not allowed to add pure ethanol to near beer and sell it in saudi arabia. Especially to saudis and not even if half the proceeds go to the unit.
            Its not cool tow a gulf cart with an airplane.
            You may not ductape mummy the LT and winch him to the ceiling.
            Filling the vents of the commanders car with baby powder is a bad idea especially during a change of command ceremony.
            If you are being bailed out at 2 am by the 1st Sgt. that is a bad time to point out he's not in proper uniform.
            Don't insult the states governer even if he isn't in your chain of command.
            Don't use jet engine starters as cannons even if it is fun
            Nor firefighting equipment.
            Impromtu readiness drills aren't cool especially if you are testing the readiness of those who outrank you.
            Especially if they aren't ready.
            Vechile surfing on the flightline is forbidden.
            flying about on the shop winch with the controls and a firefighting hose is a bad idea.
            Its a bad idea to take the plates off the base commanders car. Even if you do deserve to be saluted.
            Leaving a master sargent mummified in the middle of a runway is never funny. Especially if it causes a plane to divert.

            You may not brevet people to outrank you even if they are demonstratably smarter than you.

            Tossing out random peices of metal during a fod walk to see if they are found won't win you any friends.

            Lying about them all not being found is worse especially on the 5th time up and down the runway,

            Its not ok because we needed the exercise.

            Comment


            • #7
              Off and on. At least, such a person with some of those attitudes was someone under me as an officer.

              Take the black magic thing, for instance. Had a trooper (police officer) and we both liked Stevie Nicks (late Cold War). One day he wonders that if she is a practicing witch, why can't he be? My reply: "Because she's a rock star but you are a petty officer in the US Navy, that's why!" (or wtte: in summary, when one is in positions of leadership, responsibility, and creditbility, some things just don't mix).

              Did that solve the issue? I assume so for while I did have to fire him as a police officer, write up a special eval that probably obliterated his chance of becoming a chief, that topic was not the issue.

              Often, such a person ended up at Captain's Mast a lot. Either as ship's 1st Lt. or as Security Officer, I attended enough, but while it sort of went with being in charge of deck apes, it still wasn't very good when the reason why you were there was because they were your people.

              On ship, my first Captain tended to restrict people a lot, cut their pay, pull their rank, pull their designations. If the loss of money and the reason, ie the rate one is going for, why one got into the Navy in the first place, didn't get one's attention to curb the attitude, then there were other measures. The Captain wasn't above throwing people into the brig for three days of bread and water. Once when we were at Gitmo and he was tossing one out of the Navy, it was lines like, ".....and if you give anyone on this ship any grief, I'll toss you in the gitmo brig where you will break large pieces of coral into small pieces." (keep in mind that gitmo is in the tropics and coral is like fiberglass, it gets everywhere and itches).

              Needless to say, for those who felt that Captain's wrath, they were rather disresptful to him, if not his face. When I came across one talking to other sailors about how the Captain likes to scr*w people, verbally slapped him down. One can't tolerate that kind of attitude at all.

              How do you handle such attitudes at the bottom of the barrel? Essentially, one finds a way to make life for them as miserable as possible. On a related note, long, long ago at a merchant marine academy, there was extra duty for excessive demerits. For the minor goofs, they got things like buffying the deck, cleaning swords, standing extra watches. For the major goofs, midshipmen attitudes that sort of reflect the above, that was boiler room. Doing things like having to clean out the mud pipe (or was it called a drum?) on the boiler.

              Eventually, if they don't fly straight, they've racked up enough for an other than honorable discharge, they get kicked out. Further, there is another side of the coin. There are nice posts here and there in the military. Good sailors get assigned to such; screwups don't. Further, one can probably always find a job, a chief who has a thing for having people uncomfortable and miserable.

              I know this list of things is presented as humor, but having seen such people like that in the Navy, having to deal with them, I'm not laughing much.
              --------------------------------------------------
              ("The reason why Kitty's flea collar is too tight is because you haven't changed it since she was a kitten."--Vet to man, presented as a cartoon, but knowing of such cases in reality, that's neglect, not a joke at all. (w,stte), Today's cartoon in a Cat Calendar)

              Comment


              • #8
                my favorite: #77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Those can't be real. No one has the balls big enough to pull off all those stunts. Individually, maybe.
                  "Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by gunnut View Post
                    Those can't be real. No one has the balls big enough to pull off all those stunts. Individually, maybe.
                    Are you referring to the original Skippy's List or Maxor's additions?
                    “He was the most prodigious personification of all human inferiorities. He was an utterly incapable, unadapted, irresponsible, psychopathic personality, full of empty, infantile fantasies, but cursed with the keen intuition of a rat or a guttersnipe. He represented the shadow, the inferior part of everybody’s personality, in an overwhelming degree, and this was another reason why they fell for him.”

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thank you SnowLeopard.
                      I had never seen the list previously, I did laugh at many. Your response helped in my understanding of the whole dynamic in these situations. If someone actually did any of the following, How bad is that? I just can't see this having any toleration or light punishment.
                      78. I may not call block my chain of command.

                      149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.

                      107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.

                      108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.

                      Sorry for not asking more specifically in the origonal post.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Road View Post
                        Thank you SnowLeopard.
                        I had never seen the list previously, I did laugh at many. Your response helped in my understanding of the whole dynamic in these situations. If someone actually did any of the following, How bad is that? I just can't see this having any toleration or light punishment.
                        78. I may not call block my chain of command.

                        149. Must not create new DOD forms, then insist they be filled out.

                        107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.

                        108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.

                        Sorry for not asking more specifically in the origonal post.
                        Well, seeing how I've been out for 16+ years and things might have changed a little, the actual charges and punishments that I remember may be a bit hazy.

                        78, 107: Disrespect of a superior officer or Insubordinate conduct toward a warrant, noncommissioned, or petty officer.
                        107, 108: Bringing discredit on to the service. This one, General Article, was usually used for people who have mass idebtness since the Navy cannot make one pay their bills but could bring punishment against one for being a bum.
                        149: False Official Statements.
                        108: Failure to obey order or regulation. Generally, commands specifically state who can and cannot talk to the press.

                        Other charges may apply but these are the ones that come the quickest to mind. Generally, it was a max of 30-60 days of something, ie, taking half their pay for 2 months, extra duties for 45 days, 3 days bread and water, 30 days in a correctional custody unit (reinforced boot camp), etc..

                        I need to get going, hope that answers the question.
                        -------------------------------------------------------------
                        ("The Emperor's coming here?"--Death Star Commander
                        "That is correct, Commander. And, he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress."--Darth Vader
                        "We shall double our efforts."
                        "I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.", (wtte), "Return of the Jedi")

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          What about moving bunks with the occupants still sleeping to the parade square in the middle of the night? That one is always amusing.
                          Originally posted by GVChamp
                          College students are very, very, very dumb. But that's what you get when the government subsidizes children to sit in the middle of a corn field to drink alcohol and fuck.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Fourth Estate

                            Originally posted by Road View Post
                            107. Must not mock command decisions in front of the press.

                            108. Should not taunt members of the press, even if they are really fat, exceptionally stupid, and working for UPI.
                            A few things you're not allowed to do regarding the press.

                            One is not allowed to land a civilian news helicopter on the LZ during a military operation. No matter how cute you think the reporter is.

                            You cannot declare an emergency for "news chopper nine" and pop colored smoke because the aforesaid reporter waived and called you by your first name.
                            Reddite igitur quae sunt Caesaris Caesari et quae sunt Dei Deo
                            (Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's and unto God the things which are God's)

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by TopHatter View Post
                              Are you referring to the original Skippy's List or Maxor's additions?
                              The original list.
                              "Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.

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