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View Full Version : Canada unleashes the ultimate weapon that will bring the Taliban to its knees



Canmoore
15 Jul 06,, 22:22
Since Opening a Tim Hortons in Kandahar, we should give it a Drive through, once the Taliban have a taste of Timbits, doughnuts and a double double, they will be hooked, then we can nab the taliban as they order there large double double and a party pack of timbits...

Its a sure-fire plan that will not fail!

troung
16 Jul 06,, 02:04
Send Cleine Dione...

ArmchairGeneral
16 Jul 06,, 05:19
Send Cleine Dione...
Isn't that banned under the Geneva Convention?

troung
16 Jul 06,, 06:04
Canada is quite possibly the worlds largest exporter of terrorism.. you think the GC would stop them...

Officer of Engineers
17 Jul 06,, 04:50
Oh no, don't you dare pin her on us, she's an American now.

troung
17 Jul 06,, 05:36
What did we ever do to you?

I thought we were allies.... :mad:

gunnut
17 Jul 06,, 18:06
Oh no, don't you dare pin her on us, she's an American now.

No, no, no. She merely works and lives in Las Vegas. We plan to send her back after she's done.

Officer of Engineers
17 Jul 06,, 18:11
What did we ever do to you?

I thought we were allies.... :mad:

Hey, you wrecked our airwaves with Jerry Springer and Baywatch.

Bluesman
17 Jul 06,, 18:28
And y'all went NUCLEAR right off the bat?

Whatever happened to proportional response? :cool:

Officer of Engineers
17 Jul 06,, 18:34
Proportional? We've been nice and kind for decades! We gave you Captain Kirk, Scotty and Commander Adama. Now, we got Survivior, American Idol, and Big Brother ... Oh Brother.

gunnut
17 Jul 06,, 22:14
Don't forget Alex Trebek.

William Shatner is Canadian?

HistoricalDavid
17 Jul 06,, 22:21
Proportional? We've been nice and kind for decades! We gave you Captain Kirk, Scotty and Commander Adama. Now, we got Survivior, American Idol, and Big Brother ... Oh Brother.

I'm shocked.

The people on Big Brother are highly intelligent, extremely interesting people who provide a fascinating study into human psychology with their brain-taxing activities in the household. They constantly grip my attention, at least, especially from 11pm to 7am when the cameras provide unbroken coverage of them sleeping.

troung
18 Jul 06,, 04:02
What ever happened to a no first use policy?

**** we'll just send over Paris Hilton or Rosie... unless of course they are already Canadians... :mad:

Officer of Engineers
18 Jul 06,, 04:23
It's too cold for them to come up north.

lemontree
18 Jul 06,, 05:57
You are right sir, with their sense of dressing up (or the lack of it), they will die of the cold, and the Americans will get one more excuse to demand invasion of Canada. Don't allow the Hilton girls into Canada.

troung
18 Jul 06,, 07:27
Lemon;

We ain't going to be too broken up if she dies... migth just send a fruit basket or two... or hand over New England... or one of those really empty states near the border... like ummm... Iowa...

OoE;

We still have plenty of really annoying people to send...

Micheal Moore... big and fat... well he might actually be popular among our icy and very liberal neighbors to the north...

Tom Cruise...

Or just every reality TV star... ever...

We have a larger population base from which to send people...

=====================

Canada cannot be allowed to conduct cross border terrorism any longer...

Officer of Engineers
18 Jul 06,, 16:18
We'll trade you Quebec for your whiners.

TopHatter
18 Jul 06,, 16:43
William Shatner is Canadian?

Of course he is. This will explain everything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFpIaBvoWrQ&search=William%20Shatner%20

Dreadnought
18 Jul 06,, 18:22
Lemon;

We ain't going to be too broken up if she dies... migth just send a fruit basket or two... or hand over New England... or one of those really empty states near the border... like ummm... Iowa...

OoE;

We still have plenty of really annoying people to send...

Micheal Moore... big and fat... well he might actually be popular among our icy and very liberal neighbors to the north...

Tom Cruise...

Or just every reality TV star... ever...

We have a larger population base from which to send people...

=====================

Canada cannot be allowed to conduct cross border terrorism any longer...


You can have New England but you have to take Senator Ted Kennedy and the rest with it! :biggrin:

Bluesman
18 Jul 06,, 18:43
MAN, we're getting ugly here, and we used to be such good neighbors! ;)

Officer of Engineers
18 Jul 06,, 18:57
Yeah, think about this. We'll just hoard our butter cookies and stop sending them south!

troung
18 Jul 06,, 19:10
In case of threats to our supply of butter cookies we will go to war.

Granted to keep the balance of politics the same we will not annex any part of Canada, where Hillary would be a member of the far right, we will just have to set up a secuitry zone around the butter cookie fields.

We will have to bomb the ice palace, all the ice bridges and polar bears to punish the Canadians for 30 years of cross border terrorism.


We'll trade you Quebec for your whiners.

I'll keep the whiners rather then take in French people.

But we will give you New England, Nex Mexico and Oregon for free. Take them they are yours. Hell we'll throw in San Franisco to give you guys a warm water port. At least it has sand and the sun comes up.

gunnut
18 Jul 06,, 19:12
Of course he is. This will explain everything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFpIaBvoWrQ&search=William%20Shatner%20

I thought he's from Iowa. He only works in outer space... :biggrin:

ArmchairGeneral
18 Jul 06,, 23:38
Yeah, think about this. We'll just hoard our butter cookies and stop sending them south!
Hah. We'll invade Belgium and France and take control of the abundant supplies there. I have to say people, it's getting pretty brutal. Paris Hilton? That's beyond massive retaliation. I'm afraid they'd respond with genetically engineered super-mooses. Of course, we could send Cher...

Officer of Engineers
19 Jul 06,, 03:21
In case of threats to our supply of butter cookies we will go to war.

You can't goto war over something we won't have. Dan Ackroyd can get mighty hungry.


Granted to keep the balance of politics the same we will not annex any part of Canada, where Hillary would be a member of the far right, we will just have to set up a secuitry zone around the butter cookie fields.

So, you would grab the cows and leave the rest of the country alone?


We will have to bomb the ice palace, all the ice bridges and polar bears to punish the Canadians for 30 years of cross border terrorism.

All that means is that Celine Dion can't cross back into Canada and her home would be blown to bits and plus, I don't have to look at overweight men and women taking an icy dip on 1 January.


I'll keep the whiners rather then take in French people.

There's a difference?


But we will give you New England, Nex Mexico and Oregon for free. Take them they are yours. Hell we'll throw in San Franisco to give you guys a warm water port. At least it has sand and the sun comes up.

Pfft, that is going to scare me! My wife dragged me to Chez Mado - IN MONTREAL - IN THE VILLAGE IN MONTREAL!


Paris Hilton? That's beyond massive retaliation.

Massive? Hey, we shipped you Pamela Anderson. Paris? Please.


I'm afraid they'd respond with genetically engineered super-mooses.

Don't think so, you have the flying squirrel. And then, they're always distracted by Boris and Natasha.


Of course, we could send Cher...

I supposed we could take her. After all, you got stuck with Alanis Morrisette.

Bluesman
19 Jul 06,, 03:27
There's a difference?

HAH! I just spit beer all over my keyboard! :biggrin:

lemontree
19 Jul 06,, 05:20
I don't have to look at overweight men and women taking an icy dip on 1 January.
That must be painfull to watch. Do you manage to sleep after that?

If I may suggest the Canadians, can request their old buddies - the British, to ship Sam Fox to the US in retaliation and mke her sing. Send her through Mexico, and blame it on them.

Officer of Engineers
19 Jul 06,, 05:27
Captain,

You want to me to committ suicide?!?! You know who'se going to find out who made the request! My wife!

troung
19 Jul 06,, 05:33
There's a difference?

Well French are whiners but not all whiners are French... ;)


You can't goto war over something we won't have.

Now come out that won't stop the American people from supporting at least 8 months of war in Canada. Well 2 months, that 2 month window were it stops snowing. But hell we can get a lot done in 2 months.


All that means is that Celine Dion can't cross back into Canada and her home would be blown to bits and plus, I don't have to look at overweight men and women taking an icy dip on 1 January.

We'll throw her on one of those American C-17s, muzzled of course, and drop her near the capital, Toronto.


I supposed we could take her. After all, you got stuck with Alanis Morrisette.

Damn I have to give some credit were it is due, you guys are good at cross border terrorism... you guys could give a lot of other nations pointers...


Massive? Hey, we shipped you Pamela Anderson. Paris? Please.

You want Charlie Sheen? You got him.

You want George Clooney? You got him.

You want Adam Sandler? You got him.

You want the entire cast of friends? Guess what comrade you got them.

Hell we'll send you the WB TV station...


If I may suggest the Canadians, can request their old buddies - the British, to ship Sam Fox to the US in retaliation and mke her sing. Send her through Mexico, and blame it on them.

Just for that we will send Oliver Stone and Puffy to Bollywood...


(Worst part I have no idea if those people are Canadian terrorists already)

gilgamesh
19 Jul 06,, 05:50
We still got the motherload, and its THE doomsday bomb.

JEAN CHRETIEN.

troung
19 Jul 06,, 06:37
We will dig up the Backstreet Boys...

Send Jacko over there as well...

lemontree
19 Jul 06,, 08:57
I'm surprised that no one has thought of using "Boy George".

lemontree
19 Jul 06,, 09:00
Captain,

You want to me to committ suicide?!?! You know who'se going to find out who made the request! My wife!
Sir,
Do tell Mrs Yu that Sam Fox is a lesbian, so she will not be annoyed with you for suggesting Sam Fox to torment the Yankees.

PubFather
19 Jul 06,, 10:40
Sir,
Do tell Mrs Yu that Sam Fox is a lesbian, so she will not be annoyed with you for suggesting Sam Fox to torment the Yankees.
She's only lesbian when its cool....

In all honesty, you can have her anytime. In fact, we will air-drop her from a C130 to speed things up.

But you'll have to pay for the parachute.... :biggrin:

Officer of Engineers
19 Jul 06,, 20:32
Now come out that won't stop the American people from supporting at least 8 months of war in Canada. Well 2 months, that 2 month window were it stops snowing. But hell we can get a lot done in 2 months.

You do realize when we don't have snow, we have musquittos and black flies the size of F-16s ... and the US has long since degraded their mobile ground based AD systems.


We'll throw her on one of those American C-17s, muzzled of course, and drop her near the capital, Toronto.

I like to see your guys get close enough to muzzle her 1st.


You want Charlie Sheen? You got him.

You want George Clooney? You got him.

You want Adam Sandler? You got him.

You want the entire cast of friends? Guess what comrade you got them.

Hell we'll send you the WB TV station...

Troung, Troung, Troung. *** shaking my head *** Michael J Fox, Howie Mandel, Jim Carey, Tom Greene, Mike Myers, Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levey, the cast of KIDS IN THE HALL, and Hockey Night In Canada ... know what? You've got them already ... and they're not coming back to Canada.


We will dig up the Backstreet Boys...

Hey, Bryan Adams is still in Canada ...


Send Jacko over there as well...

And lose your hold over in Bahrain? Besides, we don't have chimpanzees in the wild up here.


I'm surprised that no one has thought of using "Boy George".

Last I heard, Captain, he's in the US as a guest of Rosie O'Donnell. The weapon has been delivered.


She's only lesbian when its cool....

In all honesty, you can have her anytime. In fact, we will air-drop her from a C130 to speed things up.

But you'll have to pay for the parachute....

I just check her website. My wife is still going to kill me.

gunnut
19 Jul 06,, 21:46
Speaking of Rosie, we'll be glad to ship her to Canada.

ArmchairGeneral
19 Jul 06,, 22:36
Massive? Hey, we shipped you Pamela Anderson. Paris? Please.
Pamela Anderson in her native state is nothing compared to the super weapon we turned her into. Pamela Anderson was not truly weaponized until we put her in Baywatch- and sent her straight back to you guys, and the rest of the world, too. You may have vast resources up there, but we have the know-how to turn mere annoyances into true weapons of mass destruction.

Officer of Engineers
19 Jul 06,, 23:07
LOL

You mean her acting improved in the US?

troung
20 Jul 06,, 01:28
You do realize when we don't have snow, we have musquittos and black flies the size of F-16s ... and the US has long since degraded their mobile ground based AD systems.

The F/A-22 will protect our freedom and support the troops... at least for that two month window before there are 5 feet of snow on the tundra.


And lose your hold over in Bahrain? Besides, we don't have chimpanzees in the wild up here.

I am willing to loose Bahrain to punish Canada.

----
You Canadians have blood running with ice water if Cher was not enough...

Officer of Engineers
20 Jul 06,, 01:39
The F/A-22 will protect our freedom and support the troops... at least for that two month window before there are 5 feet of snow on the tundra.

You will need alot more of them. Entire carribour herds disappear under their onslaught (ok, we couldn't see the herd through the bugs but the herd was gone when the skies clear!)


I am willing to loose Bahrain to punish Canada.

You do realize that Bahrain is alot warmer than Canada.


You Canadians have blood running with ice water if Cher was not enough...

We survived Margret Trudeau. Cher is a babe in comparison.

Jay
20 Jul 06,, 02:30
LOL

You mean her acting improved in the US?

It doesnt matter, "something" got improved..its all about branding and marketing and America is good at it :biggrin:

Officer of Engineers
20 Jul 06,, 02:45
Baywatch?

Canmoore
20 Jul 06,, 16:48
Well Canada does have a secret weapon, anyone but a Canadian would cringe in horror at the sight of.

The Trailer Park Boys, Only the humour of a Canadian can protect your sanity.

And then there is the Samsqanch we can unleash on to you

Maxor
30 Jul 06,, 00:30
I up the ante we can export to you Coors Light, and Budweiser.

Canmoore
30 Jul 06,, 01:45
I up the ante we can export to you Coors Light, and Budweiser.

ugh keep your knat piss and battery acid.

Give me a Molson Ex, Alexander Keiths or give me death