Christmas Story
"Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and tore up his list.
Miserable brats, ungrateful jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole friggin' works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches and says "Take a hike"
The elves want more money--The reindeers on strike
Rudolph got drunk and humped all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--now ain't that damn funny
Who the hell ever gave Santa Claus money?
And the kids these days--ain't they the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...arms, legs and heads
I made tons of yo yo's--all I hear are moans
They want computers and expensive cell phones
Flying through the air...dodging tall trees
Climbing down chimney's and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
I'm calling off Christmas, and here is the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season!
"Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and tore up his list.
Miserable brats, ungrateful jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole friggin' works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches and says "Take a hike"
The elves want more money--The reindeers on strike
Rudolph got drunk and humped all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--now ain't that damn funny
Who the hell ever gave Santa Claus money?
And the kids these days--ain't they the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...arms, legs and heads
I made tons of yo yo's--all I hear are moans
They want computers and expensive cell phones
Flying through the air...dodging tall trees
Climbing down chimney's and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
I'm calling off Christmas, and here is the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season!
Comment