Thread: Gingerbread Dojo #5 - dalem & zraver Sweep Some Legs

Originally Posted by YellowFever

Microwaved pizza.

What kinda joint are you mods running here??

Nononononoooo. Yecch. Note the quoted non-text. Microwaved popcorn. I was just feeling like such an epic battle (assuming it starts, sometime...) needed something more substantial. Probably ought to pull out the nachos, too.

Maybe he can't find his suspenders?

Belt doesn't fit anymore.

c'mon guys, y'all know the show is all about the anticipation of that last piece of clothing fal- never mind.

Originally Posted by astralis

c'mon guys, y'all know the show is all about the anticipation of that last piece of clothing fal- never mind.

Originally Posted by astralis

c'mon guys, y'all know the show is all about the anticipation of that last piece of clothing fal- never mind.

Yeah, but so far both are still in 3 piece suits.

This is turning into a mix between the random thread and a food fight

My problems with the Right, and the Left, my view, Stalin.

I was initially drawn in by your claim about civil liberties, me, and Stalin, but let's see what extra stuff you've brought to the table. Since your list is long I'm going to just list point summaries here.

1) Contrasting right "letting people starve" with left "getting hooked on govt. handouts".

False construct. Conservatives don't want to see people starving, they just don't want the government to be the one feeding them. So I would restate as an issue of responsibility and say that liberals do want to transfer more power and responsibility to their government than conservatives. Stalin liked power, so I'm going to say I'm pretty far away from Uncle Joe on this one.

(Commies LOVE to starve people - it's a feature, not a bug, to them.)

2) Marriage. Conservatives think marriage has rules - liberals do not.

Conservatives understand that the role of a government in marriage involves the importance of making more Americans, which, outside of a turkey baster and/or rent-a-womb, requires a man and a woman. Conservatives believe that a traditional male-female role split example is important for a maturing child - liberals do not. Conservatives believe that the people will tell the government when they are ready for a major change in their cornerstone tradition, liberals believe that the government will tell the people. Stalin was definitely a big "Government telling the people" kind of guy, so lots of daylight between us here too.

(Commies have long pushed for the de-emphasis of family, especially tradional Western family.)

3) Military. Conservatives who like being the World Police like a big interveney military, liberals hate the military because they are pants-wetting crybabies who think the fly buzzing in the room can be dealt with by furious journal-scibbling at first, followed immediately by swing a sledgehammer into drywall.

This one is easy to understand because the military is a self-selecting body that does not attract liberals, who shy away from things like simple love of country and tradition, "can-do", and "ideally the trigger break will come as a complete surprise". That said, I am definitely a "world police" kinda guy, so although that still keeps me pretty safely distant from old Iron Stache, who was more of a "world killer, just to be safe" kind of guy, it also puts me pretty far from the Founding Fathers and the libertarian wing of conservatism.

(Commies LOVE their militaries!)

4) Racism. ZZzzzzzzzzz....

Conservatives don't think about race all that much, liberals do, therefore liberals tend to be racist. I don't know if Stalin was a racist. Probably was. Most folks accepted casual racism back then. I'm not a racist, so maybe I'm far from little Iosef here.

(Commies get all wet in the jeans when they think of a way to use Group A to murder Group B, so if there is a racial divide to exploit, they will.)

5) Religion. Conservatives believe in freedom OF religion, liberals believe in freedom FROM religion.

Conservatives tend to think reason and faith can coexist, liberals do not. I've been on both sides of this fence, and overall, I'd rather be an atheist in a Judeo-Xn religious society than ANYTHING in an atheist society. Atheists are jerks, by and large. Stalin wasn't religious but did have people killed for their religion, so I'm pressing the "Not Much Like Stalin" button for this one.

(Commies need religions to go away to make room for the Party and the State. And the piles of eyeglasses.)

6) Drugs. Conservatives think drugs are bad, m'kay, and that they're so bad that it's okay to empower the State to make them stop taking them. Liberals think it's okay to marry a garden rake, so a little ketamine between friends isn't going to sound their Red Alert klaxon.

Conservatives focus on the moral aspect of substance intake and not the philosophical aspect. Liberals want to get stoned and join a drum circle. In the end, who looks sillier? I'm thinking the conservatives do here.Stalin would have LOVED the idea of the government getting to be the Fun Police with black armor and machine guns. Here I'm definitely a little Stalinesque, because it's hard for me to give up the last of my own "but drugs are bad m'kay?" statism. Maybe in a few more years...

(Commies tend to be pretty darned harsh about the whole drug thing. Maybe that's another sign that conservatives might be doing it wrong here.)

7) Rampant F@ggotry. Conservatives are agin' it, liberals think it's FAAAAAAAAAAABulous!

Conservatives don't like to see aberrant behavior accepted, liberals can't abide rules. If the world had thousands of years of comfortable and sensible assless-chapped buggery and flannel-clad diesel dykes behind it instead of hetero pairing, modern liberals would be slapping the wangs out of my mouth with a vengeance and forcing me to accept that the idea of sticking my warp nacelles into a lady's innermost secret garden is perfectly reasonable. I don't think Uncle Joe was too sexy for his shirt, but then again I do dig his big thick mustache. I think Stalin probably treated homosexuals like he treated most other people - i.e. as threats to be exterminated, but I don't know if he was picking on them specifically. Then again, at the time it was still okay to think the Gay Stuff was pretty icky, Hmmm... I'm going to call "Onion Sandwich" on this one and say I don't know how much like Stalin my views on mainstreaming homosexuality are.

(Commies... do they care? Homosexual blood runs as red in the street as any of their other victims.)

8) Abortion. Conservative tend to think all abortions are bad, liberals are afraid of losing the convenience so refuse to admit that although some might be cessary, all are bad.

Another moral versus philosophical conundrum, this one though, I think makes liberals look bad. Being so unwilling to address the morality of something that in at least some cases is definitely a killing shows a remarkable level of fear. Stalin was probably fine with abortion, having overseen so many ultra-late-term procedures himself. Pretty far from Joe I bet.

(Commies are all for abortion. The ultimate arbiter of people production shall be the State.)

9) Free trade. Conservatives tend to understand that nothing is really "free" (TANSTAAFL!), liberals can't understand why no one buys their buggy whips any more.

Amusing that fervent nationalism is perfectly acceptable to a liberal as long as you're talking about tariffs, but really I think this item has nothing to do with ideology and everything to do with understanding free markets and economics and the like. Commies don't like free markets and Stalin was a Commie, so I'm going to say I'm not near Joe Stalin on free trade.

(I told you, Commies don't like markets.)

10) Immigration. Conservatives want people to come to the party but play by the house rules and throw a dollar in the kitty - liberals are annoyed that there are house rules.

This one I can't even pretend to follow the liberal logic of. They cannot accept that the primary factor in the issue of illegal immigration for conservavtives is the illegal part. Stalin never had an illegal immigration problem, but if he woke up one day and did, he would have simply had them all killed. So no Stalin for me this time either.

(Commies rarely have a problem with people sneaking INTO their countries.)

11) Religion (I think) again?? See above.

12) Welfare? Conservatives dislike it more than they probably should, liberals like it more than they probably should.

Conservatives think that the more government does for people, the less they do for themselves - it's infantalizing. Liberals never want to grow up so they're fine with a little infantalizing, Stalin helped create the ultimate welfare state. Pretty far from each other here too.

(Commies and welfare go together like crabs and fine-toothed combs,)

-dale

But, but, Chuck Norris is alive and well, where is Mr. Lee?

Was thinking more like