To Be a Democrat in 2004, somehow you have to believe that…
1. George Bush, despite having the most inclusive
administration in the history of the American presidency, is
a Texas racist whose goal is to increase the success of
white Americans at the expense of all non-whites.
2. Our nation will not be the target of terrorist
activities if we remove our troops from the Middle East, end
the War on Terror, and abolish the Patriot Act.
3. Saddam Hussein and his Iraqi regime was not a threat
to the Western World, despite having harbored Abdul Rahman
Yasin (the 1993 WTC bombmaker) in Baghdad until America’s
invasion of Iraq last year, and despite having owned uranium
depositories in Niger, and despite having had Iraqi special
forces attempt to assassinate former President Bush in
Kuwait City in 1993, and despite having fired on U.S. planes
patrolling the Iraqi “No Fly Zone” everyday since March of
1993, and despite having ordered the deaths of over a
million of his own Iraqi citizens.
4. George Bush was responsible for the departure of Bin
Laden family members from the U.S. immediately following
September 11, when in fact, according to a New York Times
article published on September 4, 2003, it was former FBI
counter-terrorism expert, Richard Clarke, who granted the
request of the Saudi government to fly Bin Laden family
members back to Saudi Arabia following 9/11, without even
notifying President Bush.
5. Only Bush and high-level Republicans do business
with Saudi’s, when in fact President Clinton repeatedly
relied on advice from Saudi Arabia’s ambassador, Prince
Bandar regarding Clinton’s own Middle East agenda. And
according to a report published by Townhall.com, in October
of 2003, Clinton’s former Ambassador to Saudi Arabia, Wyche
Fowler, “has earned a lucrative living as a Saudi apologist
and served as Chairman of the Middle East Institute–a
research organization heavily funded by Saudi Arabia.”
6. After the events of 9/11, we should not have gone to
war in Afghanistan, but yet, at this moment you believe we
do not have enough troops stationed in Afghanistan.
7. Republicans are bad, awful people because they are
mean-spirited, insincere, repugnant, disrespectful, and
manipulative. But yet, it’s perfectly acceptable to
publicly refer to George Bush as a “Hitler-like tyrant”
and “A merciless killer whose sole purpose as president is
to obtain all the oil in the world by any means necessary.”
8. The United Nations, comprised of numerous
monarchies, oligarchies, and dictatorships knows what is
best for global peace and prosperity.
9. It is okay to perform sexual acts with White House
interns in the Oval Office, but it is an outrage to sit in
the same office and lecture the country regarding
declarations of war and military strategy.
10. The oxymoron that individual success is achieved
through the advancement of government subsidized programs,
social welfare, and increased economic regulations on the
11. Despite the fact that the top 10% of wage earners in
the U.S. pay 90% of the income taxes, our GRADUATED tax
system overwhelmingly benefits the elite and tears apart
lower class families.
12. Standing tall for America means supporting illegal
immigration and hiring unskilled, illiterate migrant workers
to replace blue-collar American workers because migrant
workers offer cheaper labor.
13. It is right to offer free college tuition to the
children of illegal immigrants, but it is wrong to offer
exceptional students private school vouchers, who are from
underprivileged families and attend sub-par public schools.
14. George Bush has done nothing to reform education
during his first term, while ignoring reports published by
every major newspaper this year, that high school
achievement test scores have increased since 2001.
15. Michael Moore and Al Franken are progressive leaders
in the Democratic Party because they expose republicans as
being rich, greedy, homophobic, corrupt racists, even though
their viewpoints are taken out of context and are used
solely for the purpose of being malicious and deceitful.
16. If condoms are distributed in schools, children are
just as likely to have sex as they are if condoms are not
distributed in schools.
17. Our school systems should emphasize the use of
protective devises when discussing sex education and de- emphasize the importance of abstinence and selecting
relationships with people based upon trust, commitment, and
18. Despite drug awareness and drug prevention programs
supported by local governments and taught in our school
systems, drug users and abusers themselves are not to blame
for their habits, their social upbringings and society at
large is to blame.
19. We should show empathy and support to drug users and
abusers unless they are conservative talk show hosts. In
which case, we should demand their arrests and imprisonments.
20. Our nation has an ethical obligation to allow
convicted felons and illegal immigrants the right to vote in
21. The United States should seek the opinion and gain
the support of Europe before engaging in Middle Eastern
endeavors since those countries know more about dealing with
the Middle East because they are geographically “closer.”
22. You’re due for victory this year because Gore really
won Florida in 2000, and ignore the fact that the only way
that Gore would have won Florida (as shown in a six month
study in 2001 done by the New York Times, the Washington
Post, CNN, and Newsweek) was if all the overvotes–ballots
which were spoiled because the voter voted for more than one
candidate, such as by selecting two or more names, or by
punching multiple chads–had been counted.
23. John Ashcroft is a failure as a political leader
because he lost the 2000 Missouri Senate race to deceased
governor, Mel Carnahan. Yet, the corrupt politics of
Republicans Bill Frist and Fred Thompson are to blame for Al
Gore’s loss in his home state of Tennessee, during the 2000
24. John Kerry has a great vision for political reform
and is an ideal leader, despite several news reports that he
has authored just two bills of legislation in 20 years of
service in the U.S. Senate. In 1996 alone, Senator John
McCain authored more bills of legislation than Kerry has in
20 years of service.
25. John Kerry’s position that during the Vietnam Era
war ribbons and war metals were “interchangeable.”
26. John Edwards has the respect of the entire nation
and is a qualified Vice Presidential candidate, despite
having just a 42% approval rating in his home state of North
27. Long time Democratic Party leaders, Senator Zell
Miller of Georgia and Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut
should be disenfranchised from your party for supporting the
War on Terror.
28. It is okay to accept campaign contributions from
foreign countries and foreign religious groups, but it is
not okay to accept campaign contributions from tobacco
companies and the NRA.
29. Offering asylum to Cubans who are under the rule of
military dictator, Fidel Castro–a man who has referred to
the United States as an “evil empire” and “a nation of
irrepressible social instability”–is wrong because those
fleeing from Cuba irresponsibly leave their families and
friends, in search for a better life in American.
Therefore, we should capture fleeing Cubans entering South
Florida, and return them to their native land so that they
can continue to live a life of oppression, political
corruption, and economic instability.
30. No agenda is needed to win the presidency in 2004.
Your candidates, with the help of their constituents, just
have to master the art of character assassination, name- calling, legislative flip-flopping, criticizing
strengthening national security, and denying that the War on
Terror has had some remarkable successes.
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