Not my story, but I have a cousin who swears blind that when he went through Royal Marine training he was repeatedly beasted by a quarter master for asking for a glass hammer his corporal has sent him to pick up for his barracks.
Story goes that my cousin had no idea what a glass hammer was, but he had been given a beasting when he told the corporal to "go **** himself", as he assumed it was a practical joke.
The quarter master then got him beasted for being a funny man, and the corporal and his sergeant gave him another beasting when he turned up back at barracks without said glass hammer.
Turns out they were talking about one of those little hammers that your supposed to use on those fire alarm break glasses (little red boxes)
They had just has a new fire alarm installed and the engineer who had fitted it wouldn’t sign off on it being working unless the hammers were provided.
Has to be the most confusing story in the world and my cousin still says it was the worst day of his life.