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From the Classified pages of Newspapers
These classified adverts were actually put in the paper -
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER: 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES: Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father is Super Dog ... able
to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG: Looks like a rat . Been out a while. Better
be a big reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also one gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK: $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown - 89 cents/lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer; $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE: Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45
Volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
Got married last month. Wife knows everything ...
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Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.
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