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glyn · 03-16-2008, 15:32 PM

These terms have been updated to fit today's times

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Former investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.

03-16-2008, 15:32 PM	#909 (permalink)
glyn *Military Professional* Join Date: 09-15-06 Location: Penzance, Cornwall UK Posts: 6,886	Shek may not necessarily agree! These terms have been updated to fit today's times STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Former investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use. __________________ Semper in excretum. Solum profunda variat.