Originally Posted by Parihaka

From the wire services this morning, tragic news from Hamilton New Zealand where brief reports are coming in of an English hunting party ambushed and massacred by a species of small flightless birds endemic to those regions.

In a brief message one of only a handful of survivors sent "send help, eleven dead in ambush. We fired everything we had at them but they just kept coming, attempted retreat but am surrounded, in the name of all that's Cricket, send help!"

It's believed the survivors have now surrendered totally and are being fed, watered and given medical care including post-traumatic stress therapy by their captors.

Messages of condolence may be sent to the

English Cricket Team,
c/o those bloody kiwis,
New Zealand.

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