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standoh · 04-26-2007, 10:39 AM

An old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.

He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13."

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A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at Lakeside Mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his Father "What is this Father?". The Father responded "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.

The Father said to his son "Go get your Mother".

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A married couple is driving down the interstate at 55 mph with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."

The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having nightmares with you, and you'r not a good husband." Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.

She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.

She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too."

The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"

The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here."

She asks, "What's that?"

The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag."

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04-26-2007, 10:39 AM	#186 (permalink)
standoh Patron Join Date: 11-03-06 Location: Nairobi, Kenya Posts: 174	An old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13." __________________________________________________ _______________ A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at Lakeside Mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his Father "What is this Father?". The Father responded "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!" While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out. The Father said to his son "Go get your Mother". __________________________________________________ ______ A married couple is driving down the interstate at 55 mph with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having nightmares with you, and you'r not a good husband." Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels. She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph. She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph. She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?" The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here." She asks, "What's that?" The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got the airbag." __________________________________________________ ___________ __________________ The greatest instrument of moral good is the imagination.