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gunnut · 02-20-2007, 05:49 AM

Dog's Diary entries:

8:00am -- Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30am -- A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40am -- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am -- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm -- Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00pm -- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00pm -- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00pm -- Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00pm -- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00pm -- Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm -- Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat's Diary entries:

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

02-20-2007, 05:49 AM	#41 (permalink)
gunnut *Senior Contributor* Join Date: 01-27-06 Location: DPRK, Democratik People's Republik of Kalifornia Posts: 9,365 Country:	Dog's Diary entries: 8:00am -- Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30am -- A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40am -- A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30am -- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00pm -- Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00pm -- Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00pm -- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00pm -- Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00pm -- Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00pm -- Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm -- Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Cat's Diary entries: Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now.... __________________ "Only Nixon can go to China." -- Old Vulcan proverb.