Thanks Standoh, I enjoy them too
I love the baby picture! hilarious.
Tim- good joke, I like it
A priest, Rabbi and engineer are getting executed via gualatine (spelling?) the Priest first. He steps up, and makes the cross on his chest. The executioner asks if he wants to face up or down. The priest says he wants to face his god as he dies, and so he will face up. The executioner pulls the string, and the blade goes flying down and stops just above the priests neck. "Well, it's the lord's will" the executioner says, and the Priest walks away.
Next is the Rabbi, who steps up and makes the start of david. Again, the executioner asks if he would like to face up or down, and again the Rabbi says he wants to face his lord as he dies. The executioner pulls the string and the blade speeds down, stopping again right above the rabbi's neck. The executioner again proclaims it's the lord's will and he is free to go.
Last is the engineer, he steps up and the executioner asks him if he would like to face up or down. The engineer ignores him and walks up to the guilatine. After a moment of inspection the enginner proudly exclaims, "I think I see your problem"
A French men, a Brit, and a New Yorker are on a boat when they are captured by wild indians. The indians tie the men up, and tell them they will kill them and make canoes out of them. But first, they say, they will let them choose how they die. The French men asks for a knife, "Viva la France," he mutters, and stabs himself, dying honorably. The Brit asks for a pistol, "Long live the Queen," she says, and blows his brains out, dying honorably. The New Yorker then says,"do you have a foyurk?"
"A what?" the indians reply. "you know, a foyurk, for eating"
"ohhh, they go, and hand him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork, and stabs himself repeadetly, "There's your ****ing canoe," he says, and drop dead.
