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**Shek** · 04-01-2006, 23:22 PM

TH had hit me up for the same thing awhile back. It's later and since we lose an hour of sleep tonight, please forgive me for just cutting and pasting what I sent him. Here are the acronyms I used:

PL - Platoon Leader
PSG - Platoon Sergeant
1SG - First Sergeant

Quote:

We got our smallpox vaccinations prior to deploying to Iraq, which consists of the live cowpox virus injected into your shoulder to build smallpox antibodies. It itches like crazy and a puss blister forms for several days during the process. In any case, we were out in the field for a pre-deployment training exercise, and I was briefed in a commander's meeting how several males in the brigade had had the smallpox vaccine spread to their genitalia. So, on the way back to the company, a scheme hatched and I discussed it with the 1SG. He agreed and then went to brief the PLs and PSGs about the problem and how it was "mandatory" to inspect everyone's genetalia to make sure they didn't have the same problem, and that this came straight from the brigade commander. I had to hang out in my vehicle because I couldn't keep a straight face, and I could hear all the grumbling of the PSGs and PLs saying how messed up it was and that this was BS. Anyways, just as 1SG was getting all the PLs and PSGs formed up to drop their trousers, we broke the news that we were joking but that the smallpox on the genitalia was a true issue.

After cursing at us for how f'ed up that joke was, nearly all the PL/PSGs returned to their platoons and repeated the process of getting the platoon formed up and playing the joke. Of course, the bolder soldiers that were smart a$$es ended up dropping trou anyways and telling the PSG/PL to check them out (think Snipe

), so it was a good laugh for most people.

So, there's plenty of opportunities for light hearted moments like this.

Quote:

Another story of where I messed up was taking some .wav files of Snoop Doggy Dogg saying "Biotch!" and "Deez Nuts!" and associating with Microsoft Outlook on my 1SG's computer. Of course, he thought it was a funny joke and ended up keeping it and would turn up his computer speakers full blast so the Snoop Doggy Dogg sound bites would echo through the office everytime he got email. Well, we were holding an Article 15 hearing a few days later, and you turn on the acting mode to become extra serious and pensive, with 1SG adding the angry emotions. I'm in the middle of reading the charges and explaining the procedures when out of nowhere 1SG's computer screams "Biotch!" Well, it was too much for me and 1SG, and for about 10 seconds I was able to keep a straight face until the faces of surprise and laughter of the platoon chain of command, who was standing behind the soldier who was getting the Article, were too much for me. I started laughing and the 1SG kicked the soldier out of the office until we could regain our composure. The act was up and we finished that Article 15 without too much dramatics.