Quote:
10. Must be eager to work with a dynamic group of diverse suicidal maniacs
9. Must be a "self-starter;" also, a "self-detonator"
8. Must be a "people person"
7. Absolutely no prima donnas! Whether it's fetching coffee or sawing off the head of a female schoolteacher, there are no "small tasks" at Al Qaeda, only "small workers"
6. Must have a good "phone voice"
5. Must be willing to relocate to Paradise on 24 hours notice
4. Qualified candidates should have 3-5 years experience with Excel, Java, Quicken, and rocket-propelled grenades
3. Special consideration will be given to any candidate who can fit a complete stinger missile system up his ass (we promise-- no giggling!)
2. Must not have already registered with Kelly Temps
...and the Number One Requirement for Employment With Al Qaeda...
1. Not a requirement but a perk: Every Friday is Hawaiian-Shirt-and-Crazy-Tie Day!!!
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Dammit...
I lack a good phone voice and am registered with Kelly Temps...
Becoming an international terrorists is not half a easy at it used to be...
But they do have a good dental plan and an excellent retirement package...